The Nogginknockers Legacy

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Nogginknockers

Nogginknockers 2

NogginknockersX: The Duel

Two twisted combatants locked into a flat playing field, weapons death-gripped in their trembling hands. Soon a head is hacked brutally from a victim's neck and hurled into the arena. The athletes pummel their organic ball back and forth, trying desperately to impress the bizarre commentators who oversee their tournaments. This is Nogginknockers.

Nogginknockers (1993)


"Well, Here's Bloodlust Software's parody of PONG, the classic cheapo paddle game." Just as ugly as our first game, and just as stupid. Now the pong paddles have attitude and special moves, and the ball (now a severed head) bitches when you hit it. As odd as it seems, this game had its own competition group who would meet weekly to butt heads(err noggins?). Half-evolved versions of Hellbent and Smegma sit at a game show table with electrical caps hooked to their heads as they casually discuss the decay of society. The game started as a demonstration from a programmer to an artist to show the ease of programming, and evolved into what it is now. I believe this game took us about 2 weeks to finish. And before you make fun of Zippy, I actually saw him win! Once. Hey, I just realized Smegma had a typo right in our main title screen. There shouldn't be a space between the words, but since it's the title screen...maybe the typo is in the second game? Will the world ever solve this mystery?


The Nogginknockers. Left to right - Zippy, Gutrip, Halfwit, Bogey, Klubbor, Kewpud.

Zippy - He sucks, don't use him. When the computer uses him, he usually loses to you really bad. But, if you are a master Nogginknocker, he may be fun to use. If you hold down the button, he "zips" up and down. Zippy is the son of the idiot who was the son of the idiot who lost the contest every year it has been held.

Gutrip - The samurai who projects plasma into his sword to increase his range when the button is pushed. He slides a lot, so if you are a beginner, he sucks too.

Halfwit - A punk who uses a knife to grab the ball if you press the button and hold it down. When you let go, it releases the ball. His range really sucks, so don't use him.

Bogey - When you press the button, Bogey uses his ultraomnipotentmagnirange- slowdowner gun and the ball goes slower. Whoopee. If you use it when the ball is going towards your opponent, it will make it easier for them, so he sucks too.

Kewpud - Hit button and he does nothing. But he can move out into the playfield and hit the ball hard. He backs up slow, so don't use him, he sucks.

Klubbor - HIT BUTTON! KLUBB HARD! BALL FLY! USE KLUBBOR, HE NO SUCK!

Looking back: Ugly. But you've heard that many times if you've been browsing our games. About 1/3 of the characters were interesting. The conversations are *classic* and a great reminder of everything that was going through our minds in high school - violence in gaming, wrestling, music, the comments are almost like some sort of twisted geek historical record.

Like all of our older games, Nogginknockers works better using a DOS emulator. I've had the most luck with DOSBox

Nogginknockers 2(1996)

Stumpy, leader of the GMR, has trapped Smegma and Hellbent. Now wired to electric chairs and prepared to play perpetual pong, you will decide the fate of your favorite Bloodlust antiheroes. Added to the second installment of Nogginknockers: More and better special moves, much better graphics and sound, tards, better humor, more conversation, midgets, individual endings, and a whole buttload of blood that amasses at the bottom of the screen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Buddy Tardinski is the mascot for Bloodlust Software. After playing our game, Timeslaughter, he suffered severe mental retardation. We have adopted him (and his mom) to show the world what we are capable of creating. Buddy enters the Nogginknockers tournament because we told him to and we also promised him a groovy chick that he can hug.

*Drool: Buddy drools little bubbles which deflect the ball the longer the button is held, the further the drool moves.

*Huggy!: Buddy flies across the screen to give his opponent a hug.

Cannibal to some, Cannibal to others. Ed Bujone does not try to hide the fact that he has a taste for human meat, in fact he owns many restaurants which make all of their dishes from dead (or live) humans. Ed enters the Nogginknockers tournament with his trusted meat cleaver because it is common knowledge that athlete meat is the best meat.

*Meat Cleaver: Ed throws his trusted meat cleaver, Bessie, to deflect the ball or to hack into his opponent, draining their energy.

*Com'ere Child: Ed uses his severed arm paddle to grab the ball, if the button is held down, energy is drained and Ed holds onto the ball.

Squirmy little monster who was aborted by anti-abortionists to demonstrate the cruelty of the act at a rally. Being anti-abortionist, they botched the job and Fetus was the result. Now he seeks out Stumpy in the Nogginknockers tournament because he knows Stumpy can build him an artificial womb he can call home.

* Vernix Spit: Fetus hocks up vernix and uses it to slow down his opponent

*Tongue Lash: Fetus stretches his neck and fires out his tongue to reach the ball when it is high above him.

By mixing the DNA of Hellbent Deathspew, Smegma, a goat, twenty virgin midgets, a mini-fan, and Juan Valdez (we hand-picked every strand), Bloodlust Midget Genetic Lab produced their ultimate warrior, Gonzoles the Wonder Midget. Gonzoles started pumping iron as a wee little test tube, so now he can dodge snails, win every limbo contest, reach the discount cereal at the grocery store, is an expert mini-stilt sander, and can leap a chair in a single bound. Gonzoles enters the contest to free his creators from Stumpy so they can give him his greatest wish: limb lengthening surgery.

*Gonzoles has the inherent midget ability to fly around the screen, it is common knowledge that all midgets fly well when propelled.

*Midget Drain: Gonzoles can fire bolts of raw midget power to drain his opponent's energy.

*Midget Dash: Gonzoles summons all of the midget particles in the air around himself to boost his speed until the button is released.

Owner of a Quick-o-Mart which is slowly going bankrupt, Gurdip uses his mystical cow god powers to hunt down Stumpy, who has an enormous stash of money donated for the Great Midget Rebellion. If Gurdip cannot get the money by selling Stumpy his Cherry Slushie stock, he is prepared to hypnotize him to bend his will.

*Teeny Tiny: Gurdip fires a blast from his mystical gem that will shrink his opponent for a short amount of time, or, if it connects with the ball he has brief control of it as long as he holds the button down and has enough curry power to keep it going.

* Tool Displacement: Gurdip summons the powers of the cow god to teleport him directly in front of the ball.

Hard Hat Henry: Henry lives to see big buildings come tumbling down. Remember that guy you heard about who attacked the Berlin Wall in a bulldozer? That was Henry in one of his disguises. Henry rides atop his Groundscraper 500 mini-bulldozer to try to find Stumpy's secret midget headquarters, "The Nationwide Midget Emporium", the biggest and most potentially destroyable building on the planet.

* Grab and Chuck: Henry shovels the ball up and pushes it forward. (if timed right when the ball contacts the 'dozer)

*Earth Mover: Henry plows a big rock at his opponent to knock them away from the ball.

Give an innocent librarian a leather whip for a Christmas joke and this is what you get. Sinammon became one with her whip and realized the power she held over men. Along with her sister Spice, Sinammon just may be the worst thing for "man"kind since Mrs. Bobbit. Sinammon enters the contest to find out if Stumpy is really more than just half a man as he claims.

*Whippit: Sinammon whips up or down depending on where the ball is for greater range.

*Manslave: Sinammon sends one of her many male slaves to fetch and control the ball.

Big guys like to bash little guys with big clubs. It has always been this way, and Klubbor is no exception. Klubbor enters the Nogginknockers contest to bash Stumpy, the leader of the Great Midget Rebellion, because midgets are the epitome of all that is bashable.

*Bash: Klubbor bashes the ball

*Bash Bash: Klubbor bashes the ball real hard (takes a lot of energy)

Weird bits about the characters:

* Gurdip was created when I heard a guy in our college dorm teaching another guy ping pong. Well, the other guy had a thick Indian accent, and when he scored a point he yelled, "I'm pinging the pong!"

* Hard Hat Henry is based on a kid's show you can order through the TV called Hard Hat Harry(c), a mindless video of bulldozers tearing the crap out of stuff.

* Wichita, Kansas...the original home of Bloodlust Software has a very active anti-abortion scene...we had to deal with protests monthly. One group would actually walk in front of your car, put their head under one of your tires...and make you wait while the other's screamed and waved badly drawn aborted baby signs at you. Tempting huh?

* Buddy's voice reached perfection when Hellbent was especially drunk and started imitating Corky from "Life Goes On."

* Cannibal Ed's personality was created when Hellbent and Smegma went into a Wendy's and the Cajun lady at the counter tried to get them to eat the monthly special. It went something like this:

"I'd like a number 2 combo"

"You wan sum awwwwl you cayun eat chillay with that?"

"No thanks, just the meal."

"Awww, cum awn, you look like a growin chillay boy, you wan sum awwwl you cayun eat chillay!"

(after a little bit of persuasion, she finally let us eat our meal *without* the awwwl you cayun eat chillay, but proceeded to attack the next people in line with her Cajun charm the same way. The Chillay Lady helped us develop one of our most popular characters and doesn't even know it (Ed was in Executioners as well, remember?). THANK YOU CHILLAY LADY!) For reference, Ed is the oldest Bloodlust character. In 4th grade, I used to do elaborate drawings of Ed's burgers where you'd see human parts being scuttled along assembly lines, mashed up, diced, and then served at a clean counter (by Ed of course) at the bottom to unsuspecting customers. I also had a rabid gorilla with lasers on his wrists called "Killer." I think it's obvious why Ed is the one I went with.

Looking back: A great little game. Something just clicked about it and it remains my second favorite Bloodlust game. We'd really achieved our first level of a dysfunctional universe full of humor and parody, and Nog2 used the minigame format to put a lot of our ideas out there.

Like all of our older games, Nogginknockers 2 works better using a DOS emulator. I've had the most luck with DOSBox

NogginknockersX: The Duel (2000)

The most twisted episode of everyone's favorite sadistic pong tournament - NogginknockersX! This time each paddle has been matched against an equal foe, and all new twists on classic gameplay make this the most complicated Noggin yet!

Game Features:

* Intense 1 or 2 player head-whacking death fest

* 8 completely original Bloodlust mascots for paddles

* Real-time background manipulation to affect gameplay

* Toilet humor!

* Hilarious cinematics

* Hidden heads

* Buckets of blood

SCREENS (Click to Enlarge)


Looking back: This one is a mixed bag. I was disappointed at the way the mechanics came out in the end, because it was done using "click" tools as an experiment (hence the X in the title). Damn Nog2 for setting the bar so high. The upside - some great character additions, a definite step up in artistic style, and the text came out as humorous as ever. It's just a shame that I couldn't get the tools to do what I wanted. Lack of any character vs. any character is a HUGE thorn for me, and if/when I do the real Nogginknockers 3, I will reuse a lot of these characters and double the roster.

Click games are made with tools I have no control over, and apparently they don't age very well. This may or may not work with a modern computer (I have a lot of freezing with click games and it seems to be sound related).

Be sure to check out the small games and lost games (look around on the games page, you just may find it) sections for information on other Noggin-spawned games!

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